


Far from Daylight

by r_lee



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-03
Updated: 2010-06-03
Packaged: 2017-10-09 21:51:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/91979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r_lee/pseuds/r_lee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>We are far from daylight, my friend. </i></p><p>A Tom Zarek character study. S4 spoilers, for those who haven't seen the whole series yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Far from Daylight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anythingbutblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anythingbutblue/gifts).



Once he and Felix Gaeta failed, this was a foregone conclusion. Curiously enough he wasn't afraid and he wasn't angry. No, he was just resigned. His life had been one series of failed takeovers after another from the time he was small, and he had _never_ agreed to stop using aggressive methods to get what he wanted. That should have been the clue, but people have a stubborn habit of wanting to believe in redemption even where it isn't warranted.

***

A winning smile and an engaging manner can take a man far in life. Even a man with thirty-odd years' experience in terrorism can find his way to the Quorum of Twelve as the duly-elected representative from Sagittaron or even to the vice-presidency or the presidency if he plays his cards right. And what better chance than when the population is down to around 41,000, your _second_ home world has been overrun by Cylons, and everything's such a mess? If a man can't change the way politics works from the outside he'd better learn how to work it from the inside, and anyone naive or idealistic enough to be fooled by him deserves exactly what they get.

***

The one thing Tom Zarek never forgot was that the wheels of politics turn agonizingly slowly. He knew that sometimes a person had to take matters into his own hands, and that was something he did (at strategic moments) routinely. From the time the colonies fell to the moment the _Astral Queen_ was put under his control to the time he was elected to the Quorum to New Caprica to beyond, every single move he made was calculated. Every single one of them had to be. The presidency under Laura Roslin was a farce; a school teacher should never have been the one in charge. The presidency under Gaius Baltar was worse: a _hedonist,_ genius or not, should never have been the one in charge. Had he really been able to fill his role as second-in-command, he might have been able to influence things in some small way but that wasn't the way it worked out. At least when the Cylons imprisoned him, he could say he was no stranger to being locked up or to being locked out. But when he and Laura and the others were rounded up and taken to the middle of nowhere in that truck, the calculator in his head that balanced good versus evil and opportunity versus disaster worked rapidly. If he moved to save Laura Roslin, he would be paving his future (if any of them had one) with the strong kinship that's only ever forged under duress.

Trying to save her wasn't kind or selfless, it was _smart._ Allegiances can be formed at the strangest times, but every single step a person takes lays the path for their future. And in his future, he was going to have it all.

***

The biggest mistakes he made, he knows during the last moments of his life, were the ones where he put his faith in anyone but himself. Gaeta would never have been his first choice. The leg thing helped -- bitterness is a powerful motivator -- but Felix was far from ideal. His rage was too new; he'd not only been friends with those people but served by their sides. He had his own allegiances and those were complex. But things happened quickly and they couldn't take the time to form a precarious trusting friendship. They had to go on faith and as it turns out the faith wasn't exactly misplaced but it wasn't as strong as it needed to be. Once a man goes down the path of killing his way to the top, he can't hesitate. He can't stop to think or to breathe or to second-guess. He just has to keep going regardless of the cost. Success never comes from others but from within, and he let that lesson get away from them at the end. They were close, so close.

***

There were no regrets. Even if there were, there would be no _point_ in regrets. He always suspected his end would be something like this, quick and violent. It's the way he lived his life and carefully crafted decisions or not, he wasn't going to have the chance to grow old by the fire. In a way he was surprised to have made it as long as he did. Gaeta, on the other hand, was young enough so that it was almost a shame.

But Felix had lived through a couple of slices of hell and didn't seem like he was sorry for what he'd done or for what _they'd_ done. In the end the only thing he had left to offer the Lieutenant was a nod and a smile. No apology, because he'd never once apologized and didn't see the point in changing that.

No apology.


End file.
